I Will Drop This Like It's Hot, Even If It's Room Temperature

Oops.

A little-known character flaw of mine is my unwillingness to catch things when they fall. I'm of the school of thought that when something falls, it'll probably be better off if you just let it drop. That whole "I'm going to frantically grab this falling object" approach just puts you and the falling object at risk. Seriously!

I'm totally the person who lets the beach ball hit the ground at concerts.

So where'd this trait come from? I believe it developed as a response to my parents' tendency to freak out when things break. Like when I dropped my first Walkman. I was probably eight or something, and that stupid thing slipped out of my hands because I was eight or something and couldn't eat Oreos and listen to the Star Wars soundtrack at the same time. Multi-tasking is hard!

Regardless of the cause, I was still forced to watch my parents race towards me in a frantic attempt to save the $139.99 piece of equipment. And watching my parents' frustration as they watched my Walkman spill its guts all over the floor was totally scarring.

Because scars are permanent, I decided I needed a way to make situations like this one less frustrating for my parents and less scarring for me. And since there's no chance of me being more responsible with my possessions, I had to convince my parents that me breaking expensive electronics was nothing to get upset about. You know, because I like broken things! Follow my lead, parents! The only thing more fun than expensive electronics are expensive electronics that need replacing.

So how to achieve this? Simple! Just act as nonchalant as possible every time something valuable slips from your grip. Your Razr cell phone? Watch it collide into the driveway. The new Tamagotchi? Ignore its five-story descent. Your first laptop? Assume its waterproof.

If you don't react to falling electronics, then chances are your parents won't either.